Getting on Toward Dusk

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A colleague commented this morning that I might be susceptible to “senioritis,” which, if you recall, is the phenomenon when high school seniors become short-timers – in this state they produce nothing, or very little.  The term applied to me now heading into retirement suggested that I might find it challenging to work as hard as I have been, now that the end of a career is in sight.  Might I expect to goof off?

So far, what I’ve done recently is focus more intently on what really needs to be done and what matters.  And let small stuff go.

Senior-itis is a double entendre for me, because the big seven 0 looming ahead next week raises little inner voices of trepidation about aging and facing what T.S. Eliot referred to, I think, as “the failing pride in the failing powers…”  That kind of seniority is not a party.

So, do I have this itis?  I feel like I’m experiencing the normal state of used-upness at the end of a very full week.  I recall being this worn after teaching any old week when I was forty or fifty. It’s a high energy demand kind of thing, this teaching, to do full on, all day.

What is happening to me during this evening stroll on the boardwalk, as I become the happy go lucky graduate from my career, is I’m tending to pay even closer attention to my work as service to kids and teachers and give less — even disregard — the fruitless, distracting noise.  No, I’m not checked out. I’m aware it’s all brief.

2 thoughts on “Getting on Toward Dusk”

  1. Wow is my first reaction too! This slice made me laugh and think. A wonderful piece. I hope you enjoy your retirement and find new life in your next journey!

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