I think I am not connected…

I am relishing this moment of sitting outside a coffee shop in the warm sun with my dearest mentor, Laura, whom I am bombarding with questions about her upcoming demo because I did nothing work related over the weekend. Oh it was marvelous, have you tried it? If not here is the recipe:
Start on Friday by telling yourself that your laptop is only for cheesecake browsing or googling up images of peanut butter pies. Perhaps you need to catch up on who is pregnant in Hollywood or who just got a DUI, but you cannot search out anything work related, this includes hunting for educational books on Amazon, teachers pay teachers, Pinterest (you know why you are REALLY there…), any article that is related to education (HA! That blows away about 95% of what is on the web since education is politics in striped pajamas!), and YouTube (Oh, yes. You and I know that we only go there for TED talks and to watch teachers teaching so we can tell ourselves, “I can teach that waaaaayyy better!”). After you have mixed all this up into a fine dough that smells like Honey Nut Cheerios, then you preheat the oven to Saturday.
Now you have a whole long day to avoid your work. Don’t talk about it, don’t bring up any funny work stories, and avoid your work colleagues as well – hang out with the finest person you know – YOU! This now allows you so many options of what you can do to personalize your treat: cook, clean, workout (I’m being serious), shop, get a haircut, do your own nails, organize your closet, drive your car around with your head out the window enjoying life, sit somewhere and use a pencil to write (don’t write about work…), do the laundry, throw a frisbee, take yourself out to lunch or coffee or dinner and order dessert, call your mother (ignore the question “how’s work?”), call your father (hmmmmm, was father’s day yesterday?), nap, play with the neighborhood cat, sit on the sofa and read (not about work), watch a brainless movie, take a walk, and there is so much more… Once you have combined all this, spray a 9×5 pan with nonstick spray (DUH!) and smooth out your concoction, then shove it in the oven and don’t set a timer, the smoke will let you know that it is Sunday.
You are almost done, but guess what? Your wrinkles are not as obvious, your hair does not look as gray and your heart is lighter. Just take the ingredients from Saturday and repeat, this time you can add these others if you wish: go to church, mosque, temple (don’t go to all three, just the one you affiliate with), do one of those bottomless mimosa brunches (you know exactly who to take – YOU!), start to google those images of peanut butter pies or lemon meringue bars, go bike riding, visit family if necessary (don’t talk about work), and so much more.
Now that the house is on fire since you didn’t set a timer, remove your burnt masterpiece from the oven, wave your arms to disperse the smoke and give yourself a hug. Now you have something IMPORTANT to blog about on Monday morning.

One thought on “I think I am not connected…”

  1. Mind blowing line: “HA! That blows away about 95% of what is on the web since education is politics in striped pajamas!”
    I love the barrage of detail that goes into doing nothing on a weekend.
    🙂 Thanks for the read!

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