perdre du poids

rue JJ Rousseau Perspective on my latest exercise and diet plan, “It’s not about losing pounds, it’s about losing resentment.” I thought this as I pedaled the exercycle this morning.

In the vanishing horizon of my younger days, I can tick off the times I got a man’s attention by running 3 miles a day and dieting to a size three

and then he left me

so I tried dating which involved a regime of exercise and weight loss until I got a stout fellow flattered to have a petite girl friend

and then he left me

In middle age, reading the online dating profiles

nobody on the planet could possibly settle for anyone is who is less than

athletic and toned.

I wonder how all these less than magazine prototype people who love each other and live together really are getting on, since they are not all athletic and toned? The ones that stroll by my house, chatting, walking the dog, with apparent extra pounds in tow.

 Exercise invasive enough to affect my natural Reubenesque stature

and hypoglycemic light-headedness is tough while teaching.

I’m resenting that I have to do this again, wondering why I couldn’t hang on to my previous loss?

Could I do this for me,not for impressing or attracting a male?

I resent all the effort and energy of my life

I poured on men

who promised to be mine

but never were.

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