I’m officially in middle age. I notice there are two ways I can proceed.
I can strain to look forward to a few things I think I should do. However, when I look at retired people some of them seem bored and others are, well, ill or dead.
I can look back in regret for dumb turns I took and mistakes and try to walk this next segment with more wisdom. Which sounds like carrying a load of guilt.
All I can see in the moment is the sunlit path before me. I know there’s an ocean and wide beachfront ahead. The lodge is behind me, out of sight. I have my optimism and wits about me. I have energy and passion.
I am questioning myself. “What do you really want?” That’s the question always deferred, never asked for so much of my journey. It was always about how to do for someone else what they wanted.
What? What do I really want?
Walk. Ask. Breathe. Ask….listen….
What do I really want.